People tend to blame “Destiny” for disastrous incidences that happen in their life. They use “bad luck” as an excuse.

During my time working in the Emergency Department, I have been encountered countless cases of “bad lucks” . A middle-age man rushed to the hospital because of a massive upper gastrointestinal bleeding. His wife told us that he was about to have a lunch, then he suddenly vomited blood and fainted out. I looked at the pale, yellowish-skin man with his bloated abdomen resulted of an enlarged liver and ascites. He had had a chronic history of binge drinking. This is the burst of the long-term strained and dilated esophageal veins.

Halfway through my shift, another woman was transferred from the primary healthcare center because of a severe intracranial hemorrhage. She has a history of poorly controlled hypertension and diabetes mellitus. Her husband and children are burst into tears and claimed that she had had some mild headaches over the past three day and just this morning she suddenly passed out. They knew that she had taken 2 pills for hypertension bought from a nearby drugstore for more than 5 years. They was excruciatingly shocked when we told them that her conditions is really bad- “The bleeding sites is very large and of extremely dangerous, this is the vital part of the brain that control most of our living function” – We said,  “and that she could possibly die.”

I noticed that most patients and their families used the word “suddenly” when describing their chief complains. They blame their bad lucks with regularity for any negative situations that harness them. But this bad luck does not happen by pure chance. They are the consequences of marginally repeated behaviors in daily life. Yet too often we incorrectly use the world luck to avoid taking responsibility for our choices. In this way, we lie to ourselves and others by blaming bad luck for undesirable situations.

Generally speaking, some people may have been dealt a harder hand in life than others. But we are not doing ourself any favors by using that as an excuse. We do not possess the control of what happens to us, or our ultimate results. However, we can always control our actions and effort. We can take full control of our living patterns: eating properly, drinking suitably, workout regularly , sleep peacefully and driving carefully which all could improve our quality of life in quite predictable ways.

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. Adults must – to a surprisingly large extent – accept responsibility for their own situation, no matter how bad luck that have suffered from. Realizing this is perhaps frightening – but also empowering. Accepting this responsibility is to give up any notion of being a victim; and hence that it is unreasonable to blame someone for every mishap in the past. The gift is ours – it is an amazing journey – and we alone are responsible for the quality of it.