For anybody who may not know, I had been constantly sticking to a diet plan for about 6 months to get my weight to the ideal number (which is calculated based on the formula derived from ARDS network guideline). I had been unhealthily obsessed with diet culture. Dieting culture has sprung up from the idea that in order to lose weight, you have to restrict yourself on a particular diet to achieve so-called calorie deficit. And it was constantly my life. I tried every dieting possible: keto, low-carb, intermittent fasting, etc. or whatever random dieting plans that sound feasible from Youtube vloggers. I counted calories in every bite and drop of drinks I put in my mouth. And soon, my weight did drop by a few pounds, but is came back with a vengeance. I also work out every single day to try and simply maintain my weight. I step on the dial scale every time I finish my daily gym section, hopefully looking for a happy drop. But it just does not. This put me on a constant depression and humiliation, especially when someone still comment on my O-shape face or thick thighs. I was so stressed out, that the decision comes to my mind after hundreds of days of fasting, I quitted dieting.

Everyone has different concerns for their own, from paying the bills, getting the jobs, achieving monthly KPI, to the threat of nuclear war, imminent exhaustion of unrenewable power resources or the worldwide spread of influenza pandemic, in which they may or may not have power to control over. Most of our misery in life originate from the fact that we are trying so hard to focus on what we cannot control. Instead of dwelling in what we can do nothing about, it is essential to center on what we can. We can control the input, but not the outcome.  Proactive people focus on their circle of influence, choosing to work on the things within their control, and this results in the expansion of their circle of influences. 

Focusing on what we can’t control often takes our energy and attention away from what we can really control. Our sources of life energy are unsustainable. It is either positive or negative dependent on how we want it to.  We waste time and energy in eyeing other glories and comparing ourselves to others whilst the only comparative analysis we need is to measure our progress against becoming the absolute version of ourselves that we would want to be. This breeds envy, and envy converts itself into frustration, anger, jealousy, hatred which results in self-blame and end up with self-destruction. Instead, by simple steering my focus on what I can influent, I am empowered with positive energy and integrity. Moreover, we have the power to decide what happens in the gap between a stimulus and our response. Thus, we can change our behavior and emotions. Life is about 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. I can’t control other’s opinions on my look and my personality, but I can control my emotions and responses to their dim-wittedness. As I do this, I realize that there is more within my control than I would have thought. We all have the choice to take control over our life. 

Yet, focusing on the zone of influence requires a lot of skills and perseverance. Acknowledging our limited control is the first step to realistic and renovative path to success and happiness. It all starts with understanding the true nature of our control. In fact, there are only two things that people can have full control in their life: your attitude and your actions.  Now I see dieting as not as a method to losing weight, but as a lifestyle. I diet to improve and maintain my health. I exercise to decrease my chance of having a heart attack in my 30s or a newly found diabetes mellitus in my 50s. Therefore, I practice healthier living patterns: drinking water, cutting sugar and caffein, meditating, having good sleep habit, eating clean, and exercising. I read more books, writing more pages every night, putting myself above and beyond every day. Instead of being derailing from external distractions, I put more time and energy to develop internally. This is the plan, and yet I may not be fully proactive all the time, but this is what I reflect on my behaviors everyday and eventually propel myself forward

I used to pray to my God “Please, my heavenly Father, help to have this work done perfectly/ do not put too many challenges in my life”. I now propose to my God “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. Dream big, set bar, do everything within your control, and let the universe does the rest.

P/S: This post is of 30-day writing challenge.